Positive Vibes: Learn to Let Go the Past
BERITA LAINNYA - 21 November 2023
In this world, we will come across many different experiences. We might’ve come across a certain occasion in the past that we really liked, while sometimes we came across an occasion that we really disliked. Maybe until now, you still have that bad memory in your mind, and it’s disturbing your life. Sometimes, we just need to let go of the past to be at peace with ourselves and to be happier in life.
What is happiness? People usually would think that happiness is a state when we get something that we want, or when we reach a certain goal. For example, some might think that if they get $1.000.000, they will be happy. But the reality is, when you reach that goal, you’re still not happy, but even more miserable than you were before. Some people might even do things they wouldn’t want to do just to achieve that goal, like get a job that they don’t like doing just because the income is bigger. Real happiness comes from pursuing that goal, and that goal cannot be something that’s fixed, because once you get to that goal, you would have nothing left because it’s just short-lived. But rather, the goals need to be something that can be expanded upon, and not just fixated on a certain number or thing.
In the process of achieving our goals, we always have to give it our all to do anything. But giving it our all doesn’t mean that we should always give 120% of ourselves because at a certain point, we will eventually burn out. If we burn ourselves out, we won’t be able to continue the pace of achieving our goal. The real definition of giving it our all is to find the maximum consistency to work ourselves without getting burnt out. We have our own “battery” in life, and our battery is different from other people’s batteries. Some people can work 12 hours a day nonstop, while others can only work 8 hours a day. We can’t always be full of energy, and sometimes we need to recharge so that we don’t burn out.
But, the thing that’s holding us back from reaching our goal in the future is focusing on things that happened in the past that have bad memories in it, that we cannot let go of. There is a saying that goes, “If you’re anxious, you’re living in the future. If you’re depressed, you’re living in the past. And if you’re at peace, you’re living in the present.” If we keep thinking about the bad memories we had in the past, we will fall into a stage called depression, and if we keep thinking about what could happen in the future, we will have anxiety. If we never can let go of the past, we will keep holding on to it and be pulled back more and more to the past.
How can we let go of a certain thing in the past to appreciate what we have currently in the present? If we fixate our happiness on a thing in the past, we’ll be pulled further and further away. We need to appreciate certain moments and things as they come into our lives and accept them as they leave our lives. Another thing we can do is to create physical distance from someone or something that’s holding us back. Creating physical distance between ourselves and the person or situation can help with letting go because we don’t have to think about it, process it, or be reminded as much. And lastly, if there’s a person that hurt you in the past and hasn’t apologized yet, just accept that the other person may not apologize, because waiting for an apology from the person who hurt you will slow down the process of letting go.
“We can draw lessons from the past, but we cannot live in it.”
- Lyndon B. Johnson
Sources:
https://bit.ly/LaoTzuQuoteAboutPeace
https://bit.ly/TipsofLettingGo
https://mantracare.org/therapy/what-is/burnout/
Contributor: Christian Samuel J.S.
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